I have a feeling that Kay might have met up with someone last night to deal with the stress and to cool the bubbling hatred and pain that I was feeding into her.
I'm actually not mad. Or worried about that.
I guess I'm more disappointed at myself that its my fault. And also finding out how lost I am.
I don't know....but I think the issue that i have is that I have a theory on love. I don't believe there is no such thing as a "one true love." There are over 6 billion people on this planet. Odds are you have multiple realities with a group of "soul mates"
And....I think...from the luck of the cards I've entered two lives where I found that I possible...am in love with two people?
I don't know. With the Kay thing and the DG thing. I don't know. They both have moved on from me but its confusing. I feel the same way about both of them. I mean...look at what I wrote about Kay in the previous post. I mean every single word of it. I love Kay.
But I think I still have feelings for DG. Is that normal? Can you store that kind of information in your heart?
Can that happen?
Is that a fault of mine?
Am I nuts or is my heart that big?
Or am I that big of an optimist.
Granted that DG and I where going to share a life but with Kay it was only 4 months and granted the thought of forever and ever didn't go but I think cause we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, I never got to be a boyfriend to her.
I don't know. I know that neither will probably take me seriously for a while. A long while.
With all the pain that is going on in my life....I don't blame them.
I guess that going home for the next couple of days is a good thing. I'll be going to Charleston for a few days to just......think I guess.
I need to find myself. Well...more of myself.
I hate growing up.
~The Silly Wanderer~
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