*ahem*
I want the void to go away.
I've stop having my crying spells. I get close to them a lot but the tears and pain never come. But a new pain has entered by body and it sucks. I now wake up with this...emptiness.
I'm just unhappy. And it sucks cause I have nothing to be unhappy about.
But I'm just.....unhappy.
I don't know. I feel like where my heart and insides should be is this gaping hole in my chest, where just nothingness resides. I can imagine a swirling and shadowy darkness, tendrils of just the blackest of black reaching out trying to infect the world that I live in.
Its...its quite terrible.
DG made me a "To-do" list and its definently helped. But as I finished my Japanese application, I just feel awful.
I also, from a distance saw Kay today. God did she look beautiful. I freaking love that hat she wears. I could hear her speak her way and I don't know what it is, but her voice just gives me thrills.
I've been thinking about both of them now and again. I wish I would cry for them. Cause then that would explain why I'm sad.
But.......its not them. And I think they would kick my ass if I did. Though things are not the same as they were, I like to think that they both do care in their weird ways.
I wouldn't have fallen for them if I felt they weren't capable of it.
But not to make it look like my troubles is girl issues, its just I feel heavy in the heart.
And I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
Therapy went well today. Its a new guy and I think he's pretty cool. I think I'm going to take a nap. Cause I think I need a nap.
Jurassic Park tonight though! Can't wait!! :)
I'm sure I'll write more on this here blog later tonight. Till then!
~The Silly Wanderer~
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